Who wants to be my Honey......bear......

It's All Around Us

Sunday, August 26, 2012 3:19 PM

I didn't realized how much ur friendship actually meant to me... Until now when we have decided to make a clean break.. Such an arrangement doesn't makes it any happier then u do.. And I have no idea how much I have treasured the friendship till now..

A friend ask me before.. Whether would I cry I front of others or show my true feelings? Well, I told her I won't.. Not because i'm afraid that others would see my fragile side.. But it's just that if I were to show my feelings, I won't stop tearing... That's the main reason why no one will ever see my true feelings... Not even when I'm sad or hurt... I'll just show a poker face and act as if nothing has happen... So that no one will suspect a thing....

I know you wouldn't believe me or what.. But it actually took me an entire days time to pluck up my courage to send you that message.. And believe me i was tearing as i typed it.. And cried even more when i had to reply u...

U didn't know how much u have been hurting me... By the words that u've typed... Or the stuff u said to other people.. Acting ignorance doesn't mean that i'm a fool... From the comments I saw its apparent that u have done such things... N u still can say that u were shock I lied to you.. Oh well... If that's what u think so be it... Maybe I did.. Maybe I didn't.. But the thing u cn never change is my character... If u can't take the truth and always like being buttered then there's nothing I can say..

To begin with.. We were not that close I guess? Since we met during an attachment.. Apparently that's not enough to forge a friendship that's deep enough ... As compared to those u already have ...

It really pains me to know how much u actually meant as a friend to me.. I have never once had such a sad feeling before... It's like throughout one's entire life.. You'll meet people thats meant to stay.. Some to hurt u.. Some to make u happy.. Sad.. And some that's not meant to stay at all.. But the feelings different.. It's like when u leave secondary school and lost a contact to a good friend or because of your your busy life.. That.. Slowly slowly apparently u two will grow apart.. But for such a thing.. I'll just think that perhaps it was just meant to be..

But when I have decided to make a clean break with you.. It felt different.. I know that u might just be a passerby in my life... But it hurts so bad... And I just cried for no reason and couldn't stop that I think I actually cried to sleep...

Unlike u... I dnt have people to comfort me when that happens... Because no one really sees my feelings I guess? So I''m like always the happy go lucky fellow.. Who just give and give... And get hurt time after time...

Well... The only things that knows my feelings will be my soft toys around my bed that see me cry and knows my true feeling... 😢😭

*SeLeNe